First Person Shooter

The tiny room I lived in, in the large Soho loft, was like something out of Being John Malcovitch. It had been haphazardly pieced together by previous tenants years ago who must have been a family of traveling gnomes with gyroscopic bodies. There were no right angles; in fact there were only very wrong angles.

Nothing… »

Fuck. I needed some money. Three days prior I paid rent with the last of my crumpled bills and was now down to zip. Nada. A few nickels, dimes and pennies in a change jar; that was it. I had already gone through the quarters.

My stomach growled. “Fuck you, stomach,” I said.

I went to the… »

There’s a strong case to be made that corrupt behavior in Guatemala in the form of paying bribes at the borders (and anywhere in between) is both beneficial and on moral high ground.

“We’re not here to save the country from itself, just to get the job done.”

My traveling companion snapped those words at me as… »

I’ve had some jobs in my day.

It always happened like this. I needed some money so I found some way to make it. The thought of a career never really was my thing. Being something – a doctor, a lawyer, an Indian chief just didn’t ring true. The sense of permanence, grown-up-dom, self-importance, and lack… »

The pain ripped through my chest like a dozen steak-knives, snapping me over at the waist, leaving me staring and grimacing at the floor. I was on a PATH train headed back into the city after a night of house sitting in Hoboken.

Well, this is it, I thought, I’m going to die right here. Fuckin’… »

Unlike most smokers I’ve known over the years, I didn’t first light up at 13 or 14 in a cheap attempt to be “cool” or one of them “rebel” types. I didn’t hang out in junior high bathrooms, hacking and coughing in order to be one of the guys.

Neither one of my folks smoked, either…. »

The morning had been as usual as most any other. I tapped my way down the sidewalk at the appointed hour, and reached the subway platform about ten to six. It was warm down there, but at least there weren’t too many people. Half a dozen, maybe.

As I walked toward my regular pillar to wait,… »

Maybe this happens to everybody, but they just don’t talk about it. They’re probably afraid that if they mentioned it to anyone, they’d sound, I dunno, crazy. But it’s like this.

Sometimes I step outside the front door of my apartment, and suddenly find myself very confused by the world.

I’m not talking about large-scale issues. I’m… »

It was typical. I sat down to put on my shoes before heading out to the bank to deposit some rare and desperately-needed checks, when outside my window I heard the rain begin to come down hard.

I can’t tell you how often this has happened.

So I sat there a few minutes, waiting patiently. Rain falling… »

My nephew is five years old and like all children of that age and era, is obsessed with Barney The Purple Dinosaur. One weekend I visit him with a gift: A purple rabbit’s foot I’d gotten with skeeball coupons in Coney Island. “What is it?” he asks as I hold it out to him.

“It’s Barney’s… »