Volume II, Issue 2

A few years ago the cemetery lost my grandfather.

He’d been buried almost a quarter century before and I’d be surprised if anyone had visited his grave in twenty of those years.  We all loved Grandpa Ray, it wasn’t that we were glad to be rid of him or cursed his memory.  Rather, it just isn’t… full story HERE »

Aries:  (March 21 – April 19)  After the thing with the policeman, the chocolate sauce and all that whispered giggling, it is now official:  drunkenness doesn’t become you.  You become it. Taurus:  (April 20 – May 20)  The marriage counselor suggested trying to settle things peacefully.  Use sleeping pills. Gemini: (May 21 – June 21)… full story HERE »

The cute little bugger above is Diego Efrain Garcia Aguilar. He’s the two month old miracle of our bartender, Robin.  Somehow Robin convinced his honey, Wendy – a woman whose radiant beauty is only magnified by her seeming lack of concern for the appearance of her partner – that he was the man for her. … full story HERE »

My guess is you are already familiar with the metaphorical frog dropped into the metaphorically boiling water.  But in case you are not, here it is:  If you toss a frog into boiling water, he will jump right back out, but if you put him in a pot of comfortably temperate water and slowly turn… full story HERE »

Preface to The Great Mosier Beer Heist: The following story was related to me by Mr. Tom O’Brian, one time mayor of Mosier, Oregon.  Parts of the story may be true.  The names have been changed to protect the innocent, namely Tom and me, for there is always the remote possibility that the Brumb Brothers… full story HERE »

In New York City’s last days - before the Disney-fication of 42nd Street, before we were all Starbucked and mind-fucked into paying 6 bucks for a cup of coffee, before Rudy, before the smoking ban, before studio apartments in Brooklyn cost two thousand arms and a ball, one last glimmer of light shone forth from… full story HERE »

In the world of high and low finance there is a wonderful concept known as The Greater Fool Theory.  In a nut shell the concept is this: there will always be a bigger sucker out there to buy from you the investment you just bought – and at an even higher price. Surely based on… full story HERE »

The Christmas Season is upon us, and even the Surly Bartender is getting in the Spirit.  The lights are up in the Parque Central, an adorable new collection of Dutch Girls are visiting Antigua on their winter holidays, and I’m not living in a New York City where, global warming or not, the weather is… full story HERE »

Twenty some years ago, when a young, self taught artist named Alfredo Garcia Gil started shopping his paintings of some of the less reputable citizens of Antigua, including whores, johns and drunks around the  town’s conservative gallery culture he couldn’t even get in the door.  The galleries wanted unprovocative, easily digestible paintings that could be… full story HERE »

After 30 odd, very odd I might add, years of drinking tequila and mezcal I have managed to emerge relatively unscathed. Yes, there was the night in New York back in 1979 that led to the morning where I awoke in the apartment and bed of a “female” Scottish weightlifter. We met in a bar… full story HERE »